Shut Up Fat Girl

We all have an internal “fat girl” 

Sometimes our vision of ourselves doesn't match what we see in the mirror. We may see ourselves as heavier than we really are, and sometimes we are in denial about how large we've really become. That "fat girl" in us can really mess with our head.

I just had to give myself a lecture/pep talk in the mirror. I think we all need one every now and then, so I felt inclined to share it with you all too. This all started as I was looking for something cute to wear out on a date. It shouldn't be so hard, right?

But here's my back story. As some of you know, I spent most of my adult life (very) overweight. That journey is a whole other story...but I digress.

So despite holding steady at my current size (my 3 year anniversary as a size 6 was June 15th.) I still found myself "feeling fat" as I tried on things. The "fat girl voice" in my head kept saying things like this looks "too this" or "too that".

I have been sent and sent myself so many negative messages over the years that my body image was for a long time so warped and I still sometimes find it hard to take a compliment and still want to hide behind a sweater or a jacket. That "fat girl voice" is very deceptive and she likes to try and convince me sometimes that I should be ok with a few extra pounds and that "just one" would be ok, or "I've earned it", OR she says things like she was above....and things like eeekkk look at how flabby your thighs are in those shorts! While both of those might be true, I must certainly not entertain listening to "her" for even one second.

Part of my success with the Mind Body Fit Club was learning to drown out the voice of that "fat girl" and listen to the beautiful "fit chick" (the physical as well as mental one) I worked so hard to become. Because honestly being a "fit chick" starts at the top. In your head, and those thoughts you think about yourself can have a profound effect on your self-image.

So my self-talk in the mirror went something like this: You work hard, eat right and work out to maintain this body. You deserve to feel good in your clothes because you do look good. No one but you still sees the big girl and it's time to forgive yourself and stop letting her look back at you in the mirror. She is not there. Until you believe that, no one else will. Stop picking out clothes to hide in. They will be too big. Stop allowing your other insecurities to be masked by this. This isn't about how you look, but instead about how you feel. So deal with those feelings instead of letting them deal with you.

That was my self talk and maybe you aren't quite there yet, and that's ok. But you must at least be willing to open your eyes to new beginnings and the possibilities that are within your grasp if you just reach out and grab them. Unlock your authentic person—give that person the permission and freedom to live their best life. Do the inner work necessary by taking a few minutes every day for positive reinforcement, acknowledgement of a job well done, and continued digging for that buried treasure: you!

Please know that we are here to provide support with coaching you through as you polish that diamond in the rough.

Don't Diet, Live it!!
Jaylene

What is the Mind Body Fit Club?

We all need knowledgeable and wise people to lead us out of the common pitfalls of paralyzing fear, constant doubt, hovering insecurity, and into our amazing strength, uncommon brilliance, beauty, and boldness that has been present all along. You don't have to struggle alone!

With The Mind Body Fit Club we will help you find your own inner voice, discover your own inner Fit Chick and take uncommon visionary steps leading to an explosion of amazing success, confidence, happiness, and fun! You aren't here to do what has been done before. You're here to live the dream and do the work you came to do, in the way that you came to do it.
Jaylene Welch
MBFC Content Manager

The time is now to go beyond fear, stand in your strength, and own your power and bravery. Visit The Mind Body Fit Club web site for more information on how you too can begin living a fitter, happier, healthier life!

www.BurnYourFatPants.com

Blooming into a new you.

Certainly there are things you've done in the past that you now wish you had not done. And there are surely things you've failed to do that you now wish you had done. Regret can be quite painful, and yet in the pain of regret there is also power. Because with each regret you have the opportunity to learn, to adjust and to BLOOM.

When the sting of regret comes upon you, let yourself feel that sting for a moment, but only for a moment. Then take that negative energy and turn it into something positive. Instead of continuing to wallow in painful regret, learn from your mistakes and do something about them. There is nothing you can do to change the past, yet you can indeed change the value you get from what you've done in the past. You may feel lost because your priorities are shifting, which will bring about questions such as, "Will my future give me happiness and fulfillment?" This questioning peaks as you enter each new phase of life.

Questioning your journey as you pass into new phases of your life is good practice even if it is uncomfortable. Your life is progressing, your needs are shifting, and the world around you is quickly changing. This may make you feel like a stranger to yourself. Find other women who are as restless as you and are willing to challenge the status quo of their existence. A good support group such as The Mind Body Fit Club that specializes in life transitions can help as well. Hopefully, it won’t be long before you come to love the new person you see.

Regardless of what questions you are wrestling with right now, here are some questions that could help you embrace your restlessness as an opportunity for self-exploration and growth instead of letting it feel disruptive, confusing and scary.

• What have I accomplished that I am proud of? 
• Does this still fulfill me or is the joy disappearing? 
• Is there something I need to leave behind in order to move forward? 
• Is there something more important and fulfilling that I can focus on now? 
• What conversations am I having that bring me alive? 
• What do I dare doing? 
• What do I want more of in my life? 
• What yearning is emerging? 
• What have I imprisoned that is crying to be free? 
• What have I been afraid to do? 
• What step can I take now to find out what is on the other side? 

Ultimately the most positive, forward looking thing you can do with the past is to learn all you can from it. Whatever your regrets may be, move beyond them by letting their pains teach you valuable lessons. Then step confidently ahead into the phase of life, wiser and more experienced, with more solid, tireless determination than ever and before you know it you'll be blooming into a whole new you!
Don't Diet, Live it!!
Jaylene

Jaylene Welch
MBFC Content Manager

What is the Mind Body Fit Club?

We all need knowledgeable and wise people to lead us out of the common pitfalls of paralyzing fear, constant doubt, hovering insecurity, and into our amazing strength, uncommon brilliance, beauty, and boldness that has been present all along. You don't have to struggle alone!

With The Mind Body Fit Club we will help you find your own inner voice, discover your own inner Fit Chick and take uncommon visionary steps leading to an explosion of amazing success, confidence, happiness, and fun! You aren't here to do what has been done before. You're here to live the dream and do the work you came to do, in the way that you came to do it.

The time is now to go beyond fear, stand in your strength, and own your power and bravery. Visit The Mind Body Fit Club web site for more information on how you too can begin living a fitter, happier, healthier life!


www.BurnYourFatPants.com

Why are you still overweight?

Do you know your Why? The purpose, cause, or belief that inspires you to do what you do.

Four years ago today I made a choice that at the time I had no idea would forever change my life.

May 1st, 2010 I joined a program called the Mind Body Fit Club.  I will never forget the day that the

founder of the club, DeAnna Nunez called me and asked if I'd like her to drop off my program.  She arrived at my house all bright and beautiful as always and presented me with the greatest gift I've even been given.  It was a very unassuming black box wrapped up with a beautiful pink bow.  De'Anna and I opened up the box and she began showing me the tools of the MBFC.  The Sub-Conscious Integration CD's and the all important InfoJournal.  She explained to me how everything worked and then looked at me and asked when I was going to start?  I replied "Monday".  Right?  Because we always start a diet on a Monday.

What De'Anna said next was the most important question anyone has ever asked me.  She simply said "WHY"?  I have to admit that I was taken aback and was suddenly feeling a bit on the spot, because the first thought that went through my mind was "Well because I have a package of cookies I need to finish off before I start", but I knew that was not the answer that she was looking for. I just stood there and shrugged, not knowing how to answer her.  I didn't know why.  She said to me "Why Monday? Why not now? Diets start on Mondays Jaylene, this is not a diet"!

Why not now?  Or how about just "WHY"   I think that most of the weight loss industries focus' is on the How, and the What but they leave out the oh so important "WHY"   We all know how (exercise) and what (what healthy foods to eat) but not too many programs; at least none that I had tried in my past had asked me the magic question...WHY?

Have you ever really stopped and asked yourself:

• Why am I overweight? 
• Why am I waiting to shed my weight?
• Why do I choose to sabotage my self over and over?
• Why don't I exercise regularly?
• Why do I think I over eat?
• Why am I letting fear stop me from living my dream life?

It took me thirteen and a half months to shed my weight and all along the way I kept asking myself my "Why's"  and each time I found an answer I moved on to my next WHY?  Once I had a few Whys behind me, the what and the how became easier and easier.  WHY?  Because I was suddenly awake and aware of behaviors I had for years just ignored.  I knew WHY peanuts were my go to binge food.  I knew WHY I had hidden in that over weight body for so long.  More importantly, I knew WHY I was no longer going to let my own self limiting beliefs hold me back from living the happiest days of my life yet.

In closing I ask that you open your mind to new ideas, and new ways of thinking.  Seek out the answers that will create long lasting success and believe that you will be successful.  And from now on I challenge you to always ask WHY?

Jaylene

Jaylene Welch

MBFC Content Manager

Don't Diet, Live Fit!

What is The Mind Body Fit Club?

We all need knowledgeable and wise people to lead us out of the common pitfalls of paralyzing fear, constant doubt, hovering insecurity, and into our amazing strength, uncommon brilliance, beauty, and boldness that has been present all along. You don't have to struggle alone!

With The Mind Body Fit Club we will help you find your own inner voice, discover your own inner Fit Chick and take uncommon visionary steps leading to an explosion of amazing success, confidence, happiness, and fun! You aren't here to do what has been done before. You're here to live the dream and do the work you came to do, in the way that you came to do it.

The time is now to go beyond fear, stand in your strength, and own your power and bravery. Visit The Mind Body Fit Club webisite for more information on how you too can begin living a fitter, happier, healthier life!

www.BurnYourFatPants.com

Why Power VS. Will Power!

Why Power VS. Will Power

Why power is more powerful then Will power. Essentially what I want to talk about is Pain Vs Pleasure.  Everything we do based on our natural instincts is a decision or action based around the pursuit of pleasure or the avoidance of pain.  For example, you wake up in the morning and your alarm is going off, maybe you had a bad nights sleep, or whatever, you still get up, because the temporary pain is not more significant then the long term pleasure.  Maybe you have a big day ahead of you, you're going to go to work and be productive and make money.  You want to take care of your family.  Get your kids up and help them get ready for their day.  They mean more to you and you get some pleasure out of them vs. the temporary pain of your alarm clock.  

Why Power (Pleasure)

You have to know your WHY behind what you are doing.  Because WHY power is always going to be stronger and bigger then will power.  The reason being is that you can always will your self to do something but if you don't have a reason for doing it that will power is useless.  Your WHY is the reason and purpose behind your action. The Willpower is just a tool you can use to obtain the WHY, it will only help you to push through and achieve what you need to get done.  

If you have a strong enough WHY (pleasure) you can most always overcome any obstacle (pain)  By obstacles I mean temptations that will keep you from your goal.  This can be a bad association with something from your past, it can be your own head telling you that you  things like "Oh only one" or "Oh you worked out yesterday you don't need to work out today"  But it is just those temporary pains that you have to go through to get the long term pleasure.   Sometimes you have to be strong and say "no, I don't need one" or "I need to work out everyday"  

So do you see now why it is so important to clearly define WHY you want to live a fitter healthier life?  Your WHY power has to be stronger then your willpower.  You have to want your WHY more then anything else.  That is why it is also important that your WHY not be based on something or someone.  Meaning you might be successful at losing weight or accomplishing some goal you have, that you did for another person or event.  But once you've reached it the motivation that was based on that person or time is gone.  Your WHY has to be based on YOUR desire to be worth the pain involved.  The will power will come along when your WHY power is strong enough. 

A good example of this is when I was over weight, all my life I listened to the words of others.  "Jaylene don't get fat like me" (My mom)...."Babydoll, if you just lose some weight you will be everything I ever wanted" (my ex) Those words would prompt me to try and lose some weight.  But my WHY was based on their desire for me to lose weight not mine.  So I would employ my will power and temporarily lose the weight, but not keep it off because my WHY was not my own.  When I really started searching for my WHY, and based my WHY on my own internal desires to be healthier and fitter my whole life changed

Will Power (pain)  

Unfortunately for some reason, too many of us have forgotten (or have never been taught) that joy, happiness, health, fitness, loving relationships all stem from hard work, persistence and the occasional bit of physical, mental or emotional discomfort. Remember the aches of childhood growing pains? How about stress of cramming for finals your senior year of high school? What about the terror of your first job interview? Your first broken heart?

None of these were especially pleasant experiences, but you benefitted from all of them. You grew stronger, bigger, wiser and smarter. You learned grace under pressure. But despite these benefits, we've become a society that avoids discomfort like the plague. Ironically, avoiding suffering just causes many of us to suffer all the more. Obesity. Ignorance. Heart conditions. Diabetes. Depression.  

Roll up your sleeves and get busy. Need a place to start? How about getting a little exercise every day and making a few healthier food choices? It won't be easy. You're gonna sweat. You're gonna ache. Your tummy's going to rumble. But your hard work will pay off quickly, inspiring you to apply the same work ethic to other aspects of your life. Soon, you'll discover that whatever you're working on -- be it your business plan or your body, your wellbeing or your love life -- will be richly rewarded with a little effort.

 How to find YOUR WHY

Write down your reasons for wanting to be healthier.   You have to find a way to understand what YOUR WHY power is.   Write down things that you enjoy that might help you find your WHY.  What do you have a passion for?  What gives you pleasure, beyond food or some other person.  What are some goals, you know the things in life you've always wanted to do but have held back on doing because you did not feel you could.  Be sure to clearly have a WHY for each of your goals.  

And remember.....Do not let the temporary pain of giving up those bad habits rob you from finding the long term pleasure of feeling good about yourself. 

USE YOUR WHY POWER TO FIND YOUR FITCHICK!

How To Love Your Body!!

This is so terrifying I have no words. 81% of ten year olds are afraid of being fat? Ten year olds??  And 80% of women in the US are unhappy with the way they look? That’s pretty much every person we know! Look around you. Think of the women in your life. How much time is being spent thinking of, worrying about and obsessing over our appearance? Women are counting calories, yoyo-dieting, running on treadmills, getting surgery, avoiding dessert, over exercising, under eating and pretty much beating themselves up daily over numbers on a scale.

When did we let this all go so far? Yes, we want to be healthy. Of course! And we should be. But healthy does not mean obsessing over every single thing you put in your mouth. Healthy does not mean feeling guilty about what you eat. Healthy does not mean exercising for the sole purpose of changing the way you look. Healthy means being happy. Healthy is, loving yourself for who you are. No matter what the numbers on the scale say.  We need to quit obsessing and start focusing on what we truly want.  Happiness!  

Even if you were one of the 5% of women who actually posses the “ideal body” that so many strive for, would this make you a better person? Would it make you more worthy? Would you love yourself more? The answer is, no. 

Being skinny does not make you a happier person. 

 Let me repeat that....

Being skinny does not make you happier!

Happy people are truly happy because of the joy they put into their lives, not because of weather or not because they are a size 6.  If we get down to the root of all of this, why is it that we so badly want to be thin? Why do we work so hard to shape our bodies to fit the mold media (not real women - media) has decided we need to fit in to?

Because we want to be happy. It is that simple. We want to be loved. In the depth beneath “I want to look thin” lies “I want to be accepted”. And fact of the matter is, we are daily being told that we are not good enough. We are not accepted the way we are. Actresses and models, TV ads and movie scenes  set the standard for what is “beautiful” and this is what our society strives for. Never mind that the women walking the runways these days have the same weight as the undeveloped ten year old who in turn worry about getting fat. Never mind that this ideal is so ridiculous 95% of women will never, ever look anything remotely like this. 

There is a beautiful, healthy ideal for us all. Know what it is? 

IT’S WHATEVER THE HECK YOU WANT IT TO BE.

The most important thing is, the loving change you want to create needs to happen NOW. Not in the faraway world of tomorrow. If you only listen to your ego you will be tricked into believing silly things like “when I’ve lost 10 pounds i’ll be happy”, “when I’m fit I’ll look good in that skirt and then I’ll find a boyfriend and then I’ll be happy” “when I look like this or that I will finally be happy with who I am and life will be great” - all things and thoughts concerning the future and how things will be better then. You need to know that your life is happening now. Right now. Not later. Not in three months, when you may or may not have lost the weight you’re looking to lose. Not in a year when you’ve accomplished this or that. Life is happening now, and by obsessing over ridiculous things like the ice cream you had last night it will pass you by! Negative though patterns like these, guilt, obsession with fitting into a certain mold, prohibits you from truly living the life you are meant to live.

So why is it so difficult to stay healthy? Why is it that at the same time that the statistics above show a horrifying truth about our body image, obesity is at an all time high?  The answer is: we don’t love ourselves enough. If we loved ourselves enough, we wouldn't sit on the couch for hours on end watching bad TV stuffing Oreo’s down our throat (we've all been there). If we loved ourselves enough, we wouldn't go to the gym, staring at ourselves in the mirror, jaw clenched tightly, busting our ass to burn of another 100 calories off the binge fest we had the night before (we've all been there, too). 

If we loved ourselves enough, we wouldn't beat ourselves up about the way we look, seeing only flaws and forgetting the gorgeous parts of who we are. If we loved ourselves enough, we wouldn't focus on our shortcomings but see our strengths instead. When we love ourselves, when we can find true appreciation for who we are as beings, not bodies, it’s easy to care for your own health! When you love yourself, good decisions come naturally. We like to care for what we love. When we love who we are, our body is a vessel for this love and we want it to be strong! We want it to be healthy, pain free. We want it to feel good.

If you don’t love yourself enough to see the marvelous, beautiful creature that you are, it won’t change if all you do is change your outside. Your mind will continue finding things that are not good enough about who you are. There will always be “the next thing” you need to change. To find true happiness, and a healthy body at that, you need to change your starting point. Don’t change your body thinking you will love it later. Love your body now, and healthy change will come. Like I said, happiness comes from the joy you put in your life. Working in a field that fulfills you. Spending time with family. Taking care of your loved ones. Finding your true passion. Moving your body because it wants to move, not because you think it should lose a couple of pounds. 

Playing. Singing, dancing, painting, talking, doing whatever makes our heart sing! All of these things, the things that put joy into our lives, never have a thing to do with what your body looks like or what those numbers on the scale happen to say today. Joy is only concerned with your heart. Your heart does not give a rats ass about what you weigh. Your heart only wants love. If all you focus on is the size of your jeans, you’ll miss it.

Focus on doing things that bring you joy. Go where happiness is. Every time you catch yourself with a destructive thought, come back to that joy. Take deep breaths and remember:...life is not as serious as your mind makes it out to be. Do your best to see what your body can do for you, not what it looks like in the mirror. And for Pete's sake, get rid of your scale! Measure your value only in love and know that it’s always overflowing.

Jaylene

Jaylene Welch

MBFC Content Manager

Don't Diet, Live Fit!

What is The Mind Body Fit Club?

We all need knowledgeable and wise people to lead us out of the common pitfalls of paralyzing fear, constant doubt, hovering insecurity, and into our amazing strength, uncommon brilliance, beauty, and boldness that has been present all along. You don't have to struggle alone!

With The Mind Body Fit Club we will help you find your own inner voice, discover your own inner Fit Chick and take uncommon visionary steps leading to an explosion of amazing success, confidence, happiness, and fun! You aren't here to do what has been done before. You're here to live the dream and do the work you came to do, in the way that you came to do it.

The time is now to go beyond fear, stand in your strength, and own your power and bravery. Visit The Mind Body Fit Club webisite for more information on how you too can begin living a fitter, happier, healthier life!

www.BurnYourFatPants.com

Calling All Brave and Wise Women

Heroes, we think, are basically better people then we are. Surely they have great self-esteem. That's why they can do extraordinary things. They don't seem to feel fear. That's why they can charge straight into a bullet and not get hit, or rescue someone from a fire or fearlessly respond to some life threatening situation. But, in fact, our assumptions about heroes may not be true at all. These people may have been terribly afraid, but they went forward anyhow. Maybe just maybe that is the true essence of heroism, to go forward anyway, afraid or not.

What seems routine to others may be really frightening to us. For some it may be a genuine act of heroism to apply for a job if there is a great fear of rejection. It may take courage to speak up to someone who is mistreating you if you've been quiet for a long time. To express our true and honest feelings may make us break out in a cold sweat.

Difficult though as they are, these no-news-worthy acts of heroism are what truly puts the cracks in our self esteem barrier. The point is not whether we are afraid, but whether we do what needs be done. That's the hero's way.

Anytime I defy fear, I perform an act of heroism. 

I smile in trouble, gather strength from distress, 

and grow brave by reflection. 

Today I act from Love not fear. 

I know Brave is the only way to be!!

I have what it takes to be a Brave Girl.

Jaylene Welch

MBFC Content Manager
Don't Diet, Live Fit!

What is The Mind Body Fit Club?

We all need knowledgeable and wise people to lead us out of the common pitfalls of paralyzing fear, constant doubt, hovering insecurity, and into our amazing strength, uncommon brilliance, beauty, and boldness that has been present all along. You don't have to struggle alone!

With The Mind Body Fit Club we will help you find your own inner voice, discover your own inner Fit Chick and take uncommon visionary steps leading to an explosion of amazing success, confidence, happiness, and fun! You aren't here to do what has been done before. You're here to live the dream and do the work you came to do, in the way that you came to do it.

The time is now to go beyond fear, stand in your strength, and own your power and bravery. Visit The Mind Body Fit Club webisite for more information on how you too can begin living a fitter, happier, healthier life!

Join The Club

www.BurnYourFatPants.com

The Awakening

The Awakening....  

A time comes in your life when you finally get it.......when a midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the VOICE inside your head/Soul/ your heart cries out ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then like a child quieting down from a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.   

This is YOUR awakening.   

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change. You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process of a sense of new serenity is born of acceptance.  

You awaken to the fact that you are not prefect and not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of what you are or how you think.. Especially your family. And that is OK !  They are entitled to their opinion.  

You learn to love and champion yourself....And in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.  You stop blaming and complaining of what others have done to you. And the only thing you can count on is the unexpected. People don't always say what they mean or mean what they say. And not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn't always about you.  

So you learn to stand on your own two feet and take care of yourself.  You stop judging others and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as the are and overlook their short comings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view.. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought to begin with. 

You learn the that principals such as honesty and integrity are not outdated, but the mortar of the foundation that holds us together. You learn that you don't know everything, not your job to save the world, and you can't teach pigs to sing!
The only cross to bear is the one you have choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then .....you learn about love...its two sided not one.....you look at relationships as they are, not how you want them to be.  You also stop putting your feelings aside and learn to say NO. How you feel is important. You learn that you get in life what you deserve, and much of life is a truth self-filling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and wishing for something to happen is different then working toward making it happen...

More importantly you realize no one can do it alone and asking for help is OK !
You learn the only thing to fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens, you can handle it . And to give fear away for the right to live your life and not squander it. You learn life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you want or what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to good people. And sometimes letting go instead of holding on is freedom of and for yourself and those you love. And you learn not to take it personally. 

You learn that no one is punishing you and everything isn't always someone's fault. Its just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong to build bridges instead of breaking them down. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you.  You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, that millions around the world can only dream of, food, clean running water, a warm soft bed, a long hot shower, a job.  Then you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never settle for less then you deserve.  Make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility out there.  Become just a little better and a little stronger each day.  Listen more, be more patient, breath slowly and hang in there.  All is well. 

Dr. Wayne Dyer